¿Senor, es que un toro en su asno?

I feel like the guy in this photo. Every BOOM and every POP makes me wonder just how long I can be lucky. I had some close calls in 2004-05 and now that I am back I think a lot about my own mortality. Back then we laughed and joked and called it "Mortar Bingo" but we really thought it would not happen to us. Most of those folks have left and are home safe. Hearing the Phalanx ripping out ungodly numbers of 20mm shells to tear apart rockets in mid air makes me feel better but I hate the "Big Voice". It either makes you jump out of your skin when they give incoming warnings or makes you just about crap your pants when they make an "All Clear" and you realize that you never even knew we had incoming.

The days just drag. It seems like they take 48 hours to complete. I guess that is part of the problem with having an end game. I wish I was man enough to just suck it up and press on but I am like a kid looking at Summer Vacation and counting the days until school starts. R&Rs were never as anticipated as this.

The guy in the photo knows that bull is on his a$$. That is how I feel. I am sprinting for the rails and that bull is behind me. I think I am going to make it but there is always the chance that I could trip and fall and the bull could get me. Like it says in the title. "Mister, is that a bull on your a$$?"

What can YOU do to help?

One of my friends is the commander of a unit in Afghanistan and they are winning hearts and minds of the locals by being compassionate and caring. They have identified a group of Afghan children who are in dire need of winter clothing. I am including his info in the hope that some of you might understand that this is how we win. When we help a child they remember and maybe, just maybe, one of these children can make a difference in the future. Please help and while these children are Muslim the clothing is a fine, fine Christmas gift. There are 43 kids lsited here. You may not be able to help them all but i am sure you can help 1.

Dear Friends,

Winter soon approaches in Afghanistan and many children here have no winter coats, hats, gloves or shoes. We have several Afghan workers who make only a few dollars per day but work extremely hard and are happy to have a job to support their families with only the basic necessities. With the Christmas season approaching we here at Camp Julien are hoping that in someway that we may be able to help either through Churches or School Groups at home. We are aiming for a target date of 12 - 01 - 07 to distribute clothes to our workers and hopefully others as well. We are winning the war in Afghanistan and with your help we can continue to win the war one child at a time. Anything you can do will be greatly appreciated. Afghan children are smaller than children at home but I am including a list of ages and sexes of the children we are attempting to help:

New Born 1
3 Months Girl 1
1year Boy 2 Girl 1
2 years Boy 2 Girl 1
2 1/2 years Boy 2 Girl 1
3 years Boy 2 Girl 5
4 years Boy 1 Girl 2
5 years Boy 2 Girl 3
6 years Boy 2 Girl 1
7 years Boy 4
8 years Boy 2
9 years Boy 4
10 years Boy 1
11 years Boy 1 Girl 2

Our address is :

William M. Jacobs
COIN Academy
Camp Phoenix
APO AE 09320

Drifting Mind

I am back in the savage north known as Iraq. It has not changed at all except more of the equipment is up armored and there are more T-Walls than ever. I am re-adjusting to my life and role but it is all a very bitter pill at this time. I am trying to get my heart into it as I made a promise but it is not easy. I find my mind drifting in so many directions.

"What will I do after this?" "Will I ever be happy in a regular job again?" "Will I miss the adrenaline?" "Will I miss the troops?" "How much of my son's childhood do I sacrifice?" "How will my wife take me being there EVERY day?" Then there is the biggest question for me....."When do I leave?"

Fox Hat

I have seen this one a bunch of times and I still laugh every time I see it. If you travel to the British Isles like I do you will invariably run into linguistic challenges. This is an example. Just thought I would share it with you all.

Down to 2 bags

I am down to 2 bags. I shipped a couple of footlockers up North to my TDY station for some bit of comfort. It is stuff like a coffee maker, blankets, water pot, extra boots, books, DVDs, etc. I have my clothing in a Bug Out bag and a suitcase. I gave my TV and DVD player to the Filipina girl who has been cleaning my room. I bought it from the guy who was there before me and I hardly used it at all. She was touched that I gave it to her. She can take it home or sell it, either way I don't care and it is better than me forking out a cash tip for her. I am going up and doing the job but I spoke to Mrs. MiG today and she is 100% behind me to do this. I just need the break before I break.

The best part about this is that I will get to watch my USC Trojans at a regular time instead of 03:00. College Football means Fall and Fall is my favorite time of the year. While the leaves don't turn colors in Texas like they do in other places I will still be able to enjoy some cool weather, BBQ, college football and my son's 6th birthday.

Rolling On, Cutting Back

I am still handing stuff off and getting ready to leave Kuwait. I have agreed to go up north for a while and help out in a much reduced, less stressful capacity. This is a temporary situation and I am still committed to going home as soon as I can.

Leaving Ain't Easy

Leaving ain't as easy as it sounds. I am working my exit plan and handing things off. My wife is just overjoyed to hear that I am sending her more of those black footlockers from AAFES. I am actively sending my stuff home and entertaining some interesting offers from elsewhere but it looks solid that I will be out soon.

It is like a huge weight off my shoulders. I know there is still so much to do but I have a son who just started Kindergarten and he is starting to notice that all the other daddies are home except his. It's time. I have spent hours just thinking about the future. 5 years deployed has drained me. I just want to be able to get up, read a newspaper, have a beer in the afternoon, play with my dog, make love to my wife, just be normal for a while.

Going Home

I have had enough. It is time to go home. I am just burned out and need some down time with my family. Good luck my brothers and Godspeed. Get home alive and safe.

The Merry Go Round

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a drop off - the ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on - and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

* Get your drunk a$$ off the merry-go-round. *

I don't know why this struck me as so funny. I guess it is because I have come out of the Yard House in Long Beach, CA and put my drunk a$$ on the Merry Go Round at Shoreline Village.. Maybe it is because it reminds me of Congressional politics. I think it is because more than anything it reminds me of some of the convoluted situations we run into where people in senior command demand that we operate exactly like our counterparts in CONUS. That would be very amenable to the situation except that... WE ARE IN A FRIGGING WAR HERE.

Sorry, had to vent.