Wednesday, August 24, 2005

When I have Time

I was chastised by a friend the other day because I don't post every single day. I don't because sometimes I just don't have time. Sometimes I am too tired. Sometimes I just don't have anything to say. I get worn down. 12 hours a day with no days off for 4 months grinds you to where you are mentally whipped and the last thing you want to do is type some profound or interesting tid bits for everyone to read. Don't misunderstand me, I love letting everyone know what is going on with me but I just don't feel like it is a duty to post everyday.

Today is slow though and I have some time. It is not always like that. I find myself saying the same thing my dad used to tell me. I would ask if we could do something and he would say, "When I have time." He almost never had the time and it still affects us to this day. I caught myself telling a buddy of mine that today and realized that it was a lame ass excuse for really wanting to say, "Man, I am tired and just don't want to bother with this right now."

I know that sometimes Carren can hear it in my voice. We talk a lot (Thank God for the satellite link to CONUS) but most of the time it is in the morning for her and in the late afternoon for me. I am tired. I want to talk and I don't want to talk. It is important to talk. I have to shift gears. I have learned to stop what I am doing and listen. I am just too tired to multi task. I never want her to feel like I don't want to talk but there are times when I am just worn out. I never want to tell her that I don't have time. I never want to tell T-Man that either. Probably the biggest reason for me to be here is that I want to be able to be at home and not be on the road all the time like I have been the last 5 years.

Maybe I will be able to coach T-Ball or Pee Wee football. Maybe I will be a Cub Scout leader or a Sunday School teacher. I don't know but I will definitely make the time.


Blogger dgnyhk said...

Someone once said to me, "Make time your ally". Ever since then, whenever I'm in a rush or I feel like I don't have time, I take a moment to remind myself that time works *with* me, not against me.

8:00 AM  

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