Monday, July 18, 2005

Ok. Made it to Dubai. Two days late, hungry, cranky, and 20:00 but here none the less. We get our bags and waltz through customs. Since we have landed at the charter terminal and the customs folks know we have come from Iraq they don't search any of us. I don't know if this is because they think we are all stone killers or because they know there is nothing to smuggle out of Iraq except dirt. Either way we waltz.

You go outside and try to put your luggage into the compartment of the 40 passenger bus. Keep in mind that this is a day coach design and while it carries 40 passengers, it is designed for 20 backpacks or so. if you are not one of the first 10 people you can't get your bags in and you have to lug them into the coach. All of this makes you start to wonder just what the hell these people are taking with them. You have a weeks worth of clothes and a camera in one bag. Some of these people need a train of native porters to haul their stuff. I wonder if they are not really smuggling dirt at this point. You finally get everything loaded and go off on the bus. Yay! We are going to the hotel only we are now informed that since a pair of nitwits streaking drunk through the lobby got us thrown out of a really nice hotel, we are now HQ'd in a not so nice hotel across the street.

Upon arrival we are met by more fierce looking security guards. They have us form another line. We stand in line for our airplane tix for the trip home. All this time you are steaming to get A: Something real to eat. B: A BEER There are nitwits in front of you arguing about their tickets. They wanted the 12:45 from London to Miami but since it is the height of tourist season they are on the 12:50 flight. THIS is a major problem. After 30 minutes Bubba from Mississippi finally understands that it all washes out in the end and takes his ticket. You wait some more and then they get to you. This is not the ticket you asked for. Bubba had a 5 minute difference. Yours is at the wrong time, on the wrong date, to the wrong location. THIS is a major problem!

"Oh, so sorry sir! That is not your ticket. Here is yours! You decide against acting on the homicidal impulse which first occured to you. Your ticket is fine (HA! More on that later.) You finally have a ticket in your pocket, money in your pocket, you are out of Iraq and off the books. What is the first thing you do? You walk over to the bar, get 2 beers, and shotgun them. Now, let's get a cab and be off to the hotel.


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