Two Months

It has been almost two months since I wrote anything here. I have just been living in Saudi Arabia and getting by and have not really put much thought to the war the last couple of months. I am insulated from the war, news of the war and being around the military. I see the guys everyday that were up North with me but we all find that we don't talk about it much. There is a guy here who was with me in Taji for a couple of years. He and I are with different companies but we are very close to each other already. After all, no one else here has laid beside me in a an open field while rockets fell around us and Iraqis ran in circles like Turkeys cornered at a fence line.

I guess all of us know that it is still there looming across the horizon like a bad thunderstorm or even a horse mounted group of Huns, Mongols, or the like. We talk about a lot of different things, mostly what a bunch of dumb asses the locals are but we do congregate and clan up when others are around. They are my brothers.

I dream about it though. I don't have those sweat filled nightmares that some people say they do. Actually I dream about unsettled business and people I miss. I dream about walking in Baghdad with no weapons and no troops around, looking at what we erected from the outside, almost as if I had a different view I could get a different perspective.

I keep getting offers to go back. Some of the money offers are just obscene. I think about it and I think about all the close calls I had. How long does your luck run? How long do you stay bulletproof? How many mortars do they have left with my name on them?

I think about that and I also think about the fact that I am bored silly here. I make great money and work with a great group of guys but it just does not have the same reward as being there, close to the troops, part of the end game. I was there at the beginning, I won't be there at the end.