Friends

During my life I have had lots of friends. Acquantances, buddies, pals, and even some true friends. I laughed, loved, cried, and shared wonderful and tragic experiences with many of them. I have always thought that the measure of a man is reflected in his circle of friends.

Yesterday I was reunited with a lot of people here in the Sand Box because of a meeting. I saw some of my friends from here. None of us has ever had a beer together, gone to a movie together, skiied together, rode bicycles together, or even met each other's families, but these are the friends I care most about.

When I am at home I think about them all the time. I think about my CONUS buddies when I am here but not to the degree of compassion or caring that I do for these people. We are all part of something of profound importance and magnitude. We are all volunteers. We have some common experiences that will never be recreated anywhere else in the world and many which we do not or cannot share with our loved ones back home.

When I am at home I don't talk about any of this with anyone except in measured doses to my family. I can't tell them everything. Some of it they would not believe, some of it I don't want them to know and some of it I just can't talk about. When I run into others who have been here the same thing always happens. We get animated, we start to talk and share and those family members with us both can't believe how we open up. We may have never met each other but we are instant friends. We have had experiences no one else ever will.

In Jamaica last year on a family holiday I spotted a guy with a regulation haircut at the pool. We got to talking and discovered that we were both in Baghdad at the same place, same time, same mission, different commands. We talked for hours. We drank beer and toasted those who were not with us as both of us know how much longing there is for normality when you are over here.

His wife came up to me later the next day and thanked me. She said that was the first time she had ever heard him talk about it and that he told me things he had never told her. She also said that he cried that night and let out some long repressed emotion. It was catharic for him. He got it off his chest. You have to or it will drive you mad.

Since I am transferring to another place it was my last time to see some of my friends from Taji. I had a going away luncheon with folks there and it was hard to hold back the tears, especially when Big Lou hugged me in front of everyone. It was a real loving, brotherly hug. He and I have been through so much together. Being stuck in a convoy while rockets landed around us was terrifying but he and I have laughed about that many times. I was yelling,"GO! GO! GO!." He was yelling,"WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?" We took a$$ chewings from Generals, ate MREs in the rain, built construction projects no one thought we could, worked ungodly hours, had our material stolen, stole it back, put up with Iraqi and Jordanian contractors, suffered some hurricane management, and COL Tuna. I love Lou. In the purest and most brotherly way I love this guy.

At the luncheon I had to speak. It was hard to keep from choking up but I managed to do so. I told them all that I loved them and will miss them. I meant it. They are my friends.

I had another bear hug from a LTC from Taji yesterday. It was a real hug too. I won't name him but this man is a great American and a true defender of freedom. I am proud to know him and to be able to call him a friend. I love him too.

When he hugged me I looked over his shoulder and saw my senior commander looking on. He is another Army veteran who is well respected and bemedaled and he was smiling at this public display. He told me later that I had the qualities that exemplify the Army values. I just about busted at the seams with pride on that note. The Army value system is one of honor and integrity and is not mentioned lightly.

War does funny things to people. In some it brings out the worst. Unfortunately those are the ones who get media coverage. War also brings out the best in some people. There was no media at any of the other events and they don't know about any of it. Neither do the American people. It is something private that we share.

I can't say that this war has brought out the best in me but I can say that I appreciate the beauty of a sunset, the joy of music, the laughter of children, the smell of my wife's neck, the taste of a cold beer, the shades of green flora, the morning paper with a cup of coffee, and the smile of a friend more than I ever have.

When this is all over I will never, ever be around a finer set of people than I am now. I will also know that I have friends. Real friends; not phony, plastic people who are only interested in material goods and perception of themselves by other phonies.

I have known people longer, and I have had more varied experiences with my friends back home but my best friends are right here, right now. They are the best friends I will ever have. I love them all.