A child's mind

I have always wondered what Tanner might be thinking about me being away all the time. It finally dawned on me that he thinks I am in an airplane all the time. He sees me come and go in airplanes and he has been in quite a few himself so he thinks that is where I am.

The other night Carren put him on the phone and he took it into his room to talk to me. This was our first ever "private" phone conversation. While chatting about his bed and his speedy track he just about floored me when he asked me if I would bring my airplane and come to see him. I started to shed a tear and he said that I could come because it is my house too and that he wants me to see his new cars. I told him I would be there in 5 weeks. He asked if that was tomorrow. I said no, that it was later but that I am coming and we are going on a big boat to Mexico. I was crying in full bloom by this point but he can't see it so he did not know. he was aksing me if I could see his new cars. I told him no at first but then I started saying that yes I could, and had him describe them to me.

He is growing up so fast. I am missing so much by being here but I still have some time to do. I am guessing that in about 16-18 months I will be done with all of this and I can stay home for good. I hope so.